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I’m not secretly hoping he’ll change his mind the more he falls in love, which means not storing up disappointment for the future.9.The end isn’t The End Poly relationships have more ebb and flow and more overlap.It came as no surprise to me, either, that I met The One while I was involved with Charles.Despite the doom-mongering from friends and family about dating a married man, I knew I was more open to falling in love than I had ever been.It’s not a competition I’ve always felt like past boyfriends compared me to other women.

As a result, I’m much more at ease with other women than I was before, which is a good thing for every aspect of my life, not just my current relationship.8. His wife would know about me (she is just as active in the poly world as he is), and he didn’t think he could be in love with two people at the same time.

I can’t count the number of times I heard “You’re wasting your time” or “You’ll never meet anyone else.” But buoyed by the confidence and happiness that comes from a healthy relationship, I was more able to recognize and accept the right guy when he came along.

And my experiences on the periphery of non-monogamy taught me a lot about relationships, lessons I’m applying in my new, monogamous relationship.1.

Have date nights instead of just flopping in front of the TV together and make the buildup to those nights as much a part of the event as the date itself.

Charles and I never did the couple-y, lounge around in unflattering clothes part — and it made each meeting spark.7.

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