Friends on dating with men and women
I can guarantee that the seminary rector or mother superior will not let you go on this said coffee date because it can and will make it difficult to discern if Jesus is calling you to be the spouse of His Church or His bride. Not because they are possessive, but because they married you because they wanted to be so united with you that they would be your uncontested best friend.Marriage can be tough and if you want a deep, lasting relationship you have to safeguard it in ways that may call for sacrifice.Subsequently, women with more gay friends feel sexier and more self-confident about their bodies by comparison to women who don't have gay friends.Similarly, gay men make straight women feel more appreciated for their personality than do straight men.In short, it depends, which puts me in the yes and no camp at the same time.We’ve seen through experience that it is possible for men and women to just be friends, and God often delights in these friendships as He made us to live in relationship.
Relationships between straights and straights and gays and gays are notoriously fraught with difficulty. And although they provide the valuable “male perspective,” straight men do have a tendency to misinterpret women's general friendliness as having more sexual intent than it typically does.Our world is full of temptations and the devil will find any way to break up a marriage, even under the auspice of friendship if he thinks he can pull it off.I don’t say this to instill fear in your heart of interactions with the opposite sex, but rather to remind you to keep your eyes open and consider the nature of your friendships with the opposite sex now because the habits you are building now will matter later.This definition could range from “friends” on Facebook to your BFF who you can hardly find a picture of yourself without them in it on Facebook.It is somewhere in the middle of this spectrum that my “yes, men and women can just be friends” turns into a “okay, now you’re entering a danger zone.”I know that those of you who have a best male friend as a female or a best female friend as a male are already formulating your rebuttal: True: But they also rarely saw each other, which made it easier for them to safeguard their hearts, and as saints-in-the-making they were extremely receptive to the graces that God showered down on them and thus possessed a great amount of virtue.Studies show that gay men shower straight women with a sort of attention that straight men simply don't offer them.For instance, straight women feel that gay men accept and admire them for their inner beauty, not their outer appearance.The danger zone hits when the friendship gets so emotionally personal, that you are not free to change your single status to dating without it affecting your current friendship with your close cross-gender friend.Perhaps this change comes as a shock or disappointment to your friend who wanted to be the one to bear the title of your boyfriend or girlfriend.Or perhaps this change creates a negative impact on your friendship because you no longer have enough time for them and the close bond you two have raises some questions from your new significant other.Either way, building a deep platonic friendship like this with the opposite gender is like laboring to build an elaborate building that you intend to one day tear down in part or whole. Look ahead to the future; the majority of us will one day live the Vocation of married life or religious life.