Dating midlife crisis
I guess I could have taken a chance on one of them and fallen in love.But I dared not — the terrified of being fooled again thing., author and Northwestern University journalism professor Michele Weldon explores all the nuances and metaphors of that phrase.She flees an abusive relationship only to have her ex essentially abandon her three sons when he moved overseas, providing no financial support and rarely communicating.Our love affair was exhilarating but that didn’t come from the age difference.When I met him, I didn’t realize he was in his mid-forties; I made him show me his driver’s license on our first date after he made a reference to the 1960s.Through a cancer diagnosis, kids’ injuries (all three were wrestlers) and challenging workload, she maintains her humanity and humor. In the time since my divorce, most of my first dates were coincidentally the last dates because I couldn’t wait to get home and call a friend or one of my sisters to laugh.
Sometimes we are so tired of being together and in charge, we do not even want to talk, listen or pick out a movie.When you get trampled, really trampled as I did in my marriage, it is not high on your to‑do list to throw your heart into the center of U. When you let go of the need, the need lets go of you. I regularly patted myself on the back for slowly falling — it was more like tipping or leaning — in love with a man who was kind, sensible, methodical, calm and everything else my former husband was not. Nothing traumatic happened, it was just over; his choice.I loved him for who he was, but mostly for who he was not. I liked being able to relinquish control, even if just in the restaurant ordering wine. But here is the thing, and here is what so many men miss: Women who are charged with doing it all — women like me who care for children and sometimes elderly parents and homes and careers — sometimes we want to do one less thing.Because New Year’s Eve could produce the apocalypse for teenage sons.I can take a long weekend, but I need to go home Sunday night because I have to throw in a load of laundry and drive someone to school from my own home the next morning.I can put my cell phone on silent while we slow dance in the den, but I cannot turn it off.Not on the anniversary of our first date, and especially not on New Year’s Eve.One of my favorite writers commented: “I am SO impressed that you were someone’s midlife crisis!” My heart swelled a little in my chest because I remembered exactly what it was like to be the woman in my twenties in love with a man in his forties.Sure, some men were polite, attractive and intelligent, but for years no sparks flew in my direction and no one was ever all that funny, interesting or a better option than a hot bath, rented movie or a stack of new magazines.The boys didn’t need any more surprises from a parent.