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So scrub up and snap on the gloves; it’s time to get all up in them guts.Doctor Nerd Love, I need your advice to get me out of a very negative mindset.
Quick tip: listing not being autistic as a plus is not going to help or win you many friends.One: the guy freaks out and reacts angrily or violently – it’s a trap, she’s a sex-worker looking for a client, whatever. – On the rare occasions that I do get a date, and I feel I make a good impression, I’m rejected after the first hurdle. – For me, It is not reasonable expect chemistry after speaking to a stranger for 2 hours, and 3 or 4 dates are required to see if there is any compatibility. Remember what I said about your having a Somebody, Anybody, Everybody problem? If you have chemistry with vibe, which is going to be a turn-off to just about every woman you meet.Two: he vastly overestimates her interest; she says “Hey, my name is…” and he hears “TAKE ME IN A MANLY FASHION IN THE BATHROOM, YOU STALLION YOU”. Respecting somebody’s boundaries or actively getting consent isn’t “repressing” anything. – One or two matches – if that – from every 100 right swipes on Tinder Welcome to Tinder, dude. Fine tune your Tinder profile, get better photos and recognize that you’re going to be shotgunning swipes because you’ve got next to no information aside from a photo to go on. – Developing a nice exchange of messages but never hearing from her again when you suggest going for a drink; This just means that someone wasn’t interested in meeting you for a drink. Women, on average, don’t like feeling like they’re interchangeable, and a guy who’s giving them the feeling that he just wants if it hadn’t been on a dating site.If you mean “women don’t make the first move,” then you’re missing a critical factor: a lot of guys react to women who flaunt or invert gender roles.When women make the first move on the wrong guy, one of two things happens. Or it may mean that you make a good first impression, but they just weren’t attracted to you, sexually or physically. – The instant gratification culture, a lack of recognition that it takes some time to get to know someone, and develop chemistry, and that men need more than one date to achieve this.– To make matters worse, I’m now the only single person I know.As of last year, my one remaining single friend found a girlfriend and they’re now engaged.When we see people in person, we process those signs and signals so quickly that we don’t realize that we’ve gone through a checklist. Your attitude literally bleeds into everything you do, in ways that you don’t think about.We just know “Yes, I’m attracted to that person” or “No, I’m not”. An amazing actor can pull this off for a little while. It affects how you talk to people, the way you perceive the world and how you interact with it. And like Binary Sunset, this is a theme that’s going to be recurring throughout your letter.Which is why I suspect that part of the problem you’re having here is that you have a hole marked “Girlfriend” that you’re trying to fill and are less concerned about who fills it. …but all of them have rejected me with words along the lines of “it was lovely to meet you but I’m not sure I felt enough of a connection for a second date”. All of this despite evidence that they were interested in me, flowing conversation punctuated by laughter and even occasional arm touches etc. OK someone call Sir Mix-A-Lott because I hear a big “But” coming… If by “being ignored by women”, you mean that women aren’t approaching you for dates, then we’ve found your first problem.When you want to have a second date with literally woman you’ve been on a date with, I’m left thinking that you’ve set the bar for a second date so low that you could trip over it. What you’re describing as “being ignored” is “women going about their daily lives”, which, remarkably, doesn’t revolve around you or your boner.